I want to think that as human beings on this earth, we all want to be well, feel good, and heal any wounds we’ve gotten from the falls we’ve had in this life. I love how when some of us gain new information or knowledge, we get incredibly excited about this new gem or “aha” moment. Some of us take that knowledge, use it as needed on our healing journeys, and share it with those who inquire or care to listen. I do notice a hefty handful that takes newfound knowledge or “perceived understanding” as some otherworldly enlightenment that puts them a step or pedestal above everyone else who is on a journey of healing.
This is a personality you come across who claims to have done so much healing yet are painfully unaware of how they can be very condescending towards others on their healing journey. They may not even realize their ego is the first thing people meet when they cross paths. This personality type will tell you “they have done the work” and are at such a blissful place in their lives, but their actions and reactions towards others on a healing journey show differently. I’m writing about this because some of the people I’m referencing are in health, wellness, and fitness roles and are considered master teachers, influencers, gurus, healers, and instructors across the wellness space. I find it to be a bit alarming.
I try hard to be mindful. I might have even been this personality I’m speaking about at one point in my life, and maybe even catching me on a wonky day! Yes, I fall short at times. As a dance instructor who has taught kids to dance, worked in fitness for over five years and is very sensitive to energy, I can say that you are open to so many new energies daily. You never know what someone is going through. You don’t know why they showed up to your class or the space you created, but you are grateful they did. The way you choose to connect and share things you know is crucial. I like to apply this to life in general, especially when I have deeper conversations with others about the paths were are on.
I can’t tell you how weird it feels to be in such a vulnerable and open conversation with someone who asks how I’m doing, for them to correct me and insert their ideas onto everything I’m sharing about my journey. (Yes, I have been in several conversations that went like this. lol) I realize the intention is good, so I am able to stay calm and not be reactive. From there, I no longer participate in the conversation and let them talk. It becomes clear they are not as healed as they claim and are not as aware as they believe. This is a big chunk of my problem with toxic positivity. More on that in another blog post ?
When not checked, sharing what we know with others can be ugly when it isn’t meant to be. Whether it’s tone, judgment, correcting people’s expression and their experiences, or inserting our version of what’s correct, it can come off as dismissive and a bit elitist. People will not see you as a safe place to have specific conversations. Always take a moment to step back and remember everyone has their own story; they are not living in yours. Sometimes our newfound knowledge and version of healing can distort us into thinking our way of living, and thinking and what we have to say is at a higher level of importance. That’s letting ego guide you; it can sever any connection you set out to create. Perhaps this may be an alert that we need to step back and do some more profound healing. Many personalities who participate in this form of elitist thinking in the space may find they have yet to heal the deep things due to fear of the journey not looking so cheerful, pretty, and bright all the time. The healing journey can only stay at the surface for so long. We all have to go into the deep at some point.